My feelings #cathartic

So, I have not been seeing my classmates for like almost 2 months

I missed them alot.
Hm I usually lied that I dont have a crush, but indeed I do

I know, infatuation cant go anywhere but failure

So i promised myself to become mature before involving in a relationship. I wanted to cherish a girl. I dont want to be volatile, inconsiderate, bad tempered, immature or emotionally unstable.

Yet all these traits flow in my blood, doesnt it? ever since the fall of Man, we are subjected to all kinds of bad personality. Only God can change us.

Why I so fast jealous? I mean, we wont be seeing each other again. But why do i harbour envy when i saw pictures of her with other guys on facebook? okay I am very very immature. That's why I am not ready for a relationship. I don't want my girlfriend to suffer. She deserve alot more better. A good relationship strengthens each other, not draining out both sides' energy.

But when I am immature, I did alot alot of stupid things. Now I had to bear the consequences. It was so shameful and awkward!! How I wish it never happen!! Anyway I hope these experience will give me wisdom for further relationships.

Based on what I observed, immaturity is a main problem in a relationship. Mostly it occurs on boys. Guys want appreciation and praise. Girls want to feel loved and treasured. With both sides demanding and neither sides giving in, quarrels occurs. In the end, they broke up.

I had a classmate who broke up just because he is immature. He was not ready, he just wanted to show off. In the end, the girl suffers, the guy humiliated.

Better to be single than to be in a shallow relationship. Don't get into a relationship before you are mature enough to handle all the pain. Relationship basically is 1% honeymoon and 99% endurance. In the end, we have a 100% perfect relationship which is born out of imperfection.

Yup, I guess I am not ready yet, Maybe I will be single for life, who knows? But God had much greater plan for me. He is arranging the right time and the right girl to show up. Yes, trust in him and everything will be fine, although it seems otherwise.

Well, for the girl of my dream, my infatuation embarrassed me, but I deserved it very much! Be happy!! haha