Wednesday, 17 December 2014
Proud people
Well, you might say I am jealous,, but sometimes I can't think of anything else to describe certain people's job in life:
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Jealous
I'm easily jealous of other people.
I jealous a person when he or she gets all the attention.
I don't like it when people compare me with others in terms of sociability skills. They say I'll screw up if I don't have the skills. True, but I got my own way of socialising. True, it's really about whou you know in the real working society in order to climb up the ladder in careers.
I used to be the object of envy. Now I envy someone else. This is not good. Don't compare. What was I thinking. But I really need to spice up my social skills, don't I?
Oh God you lead me and guide me. Let my ways not depart from your ways. Pray for wisdom, maturity and composure, besides strong heart. Admit my own failures so the Christ's strength and miracles can be shown. It doesn't mean I'll be stupid and careless. But I'll trust God, not worry anything and do my best.
I jealous a person when he or she gets all the attention.
I don't like it when people compare me with others in terms of sociability skills. They say I'll screw up if I don't have the skills. True, but I got my own way of socialising. True, it's really about whou you know in the real working society in order to climb up the ladder in careers.
I used to be the object of envy. Now I envy someone else. This is not good. Don't compare. What was I thinking. But I really need to spice up my social skills, don't I?
Oh God you lead me and guide me. Let my ways not depart from your ways. Pray for wisdom, maturity and composure, besides strong heart. Admit my own failures so the Christ's strength and miracles can be shown. It doesn't mean I'll be stupid and careless. But I'll trust God, not worry anything and do my best.
Friday, 21 November 2014
British Stereotypes
I am a Malaysian studying in UK, After hanging out with a few British people for some time, it confirmed some of the general stereotypes that I have on British people.
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Hong Kong stereotypes
I am a Malaysian studying in UK, After hanging out with a few Hong Kong friends for some time, it confirmed some of the general stereotypes that I have on Hong Kong people.
Monday, 10 November 2014
And I'm suddenly reminded
Today and yesterday me and a friend went to lunch and dinner, invited by church member and Christian Union people respectively.
It really surprises me on how talkative she is, and I wonder why am I sitting through this. Then I realized, she was talking about her life testimony, to give God glory. At first, I was a bit annoyed, but then the instant understanding struck me and I begin to see why God placed me there. It's either my own deduction or the Holy Spirit put his in my heart.
So, yeah, her parents are missionaries. They have no money, yet all their children went overseas for studies, with scholarships. God really blessed them as they walk faithfully with God. It really struck me right deep down to realize that all this while, I'm not so grateful to God. It made me realized that how boastful I am in all my doings without giving glory to God.
Then, it struck me again that all these blessings are from God, we ought to give him back by blessing others, give God all the glory and let people see Jesus Christ through our life testimony. I always have this intuition, I have no idea if it's from me or from God. But somehow, this intuition led me to higher heights, there "stupid ideas" led me to where I am now, for now.
And it made me come to think that God indeed had blessed our family. All glory to God. Yes, it's against the normal society's convention. But in the end, God's name be glorified. People will be thinking like "What for you took the hard way?" "Why would you do that stupid thing?"
But bear in mind that God's equation far exceeds our human's calculation. God's blessings are far greater than the human cost. We may not see it now, but God had prepared a mansion, treasures for us in heaven as we gather treasures in heaven, in Jesus' name. I always wanted to serve, and I committed these things to God and he did open doors, but I have to walk through the door, by his strength.
I know that I am prepared to do much greater things, through Christ who strengthens me. I have no idea where, this is still the honeymoon period.
So it's like this, God asked Dad to give up everything to follow him, and he became a pastor. Much sacrifices were made. And then, who would ever thought that his 3 children got scholarship to study in UK. People would say "well, I got the easy way and my children are in UK too! nothing to boast about" But if we see my dad's life as a single journey without comparing others, we can literally see that God's hand and miracles are working through our family. God is real. All we can do is to praise him, trust him, give everything, commit everything to him, and He will make a way, to let his name be shown to all men.
It really surprises me on how talkative she is, and I wonder why am I sitting through this. Then I realized, she was talking about her life testimony, to give God glory. At first, I was a bit annoyed, but then the instant understanding struck me and I begin to see why God placed me there. It's either my own deduction or the Holy Spirit put his in my heart.
So, yeah, her parents are missionaries. They have no money, yet all their children went overseas for studies, with scholarships. God really blessed them as they walk faithfully with God. It really struck me right deep down to realize that all this while, I'm not so grateful to God. It made me realized that how boastful I am in all my doings without giving glory to God.
Then, it struck me again that all these blessings are from God, we ought to give him back by blessing others, give God all the glory and let people see Jesus Christ through our life testimony. I always have this intuition, I have no idea if it's from me or from God. But somehow, this intuition led me to higher heights, there "stupid ideas" led me to where I am now, for now.
And it made me come to think that God indeed had blessed our family. All glory to God. Yes, it's against the normal society's convention. But in the end, God's name be glorified. People will be thinking like "What for you took the hard way?" "Why would you do that stupid thing?"
But bear in mind that God's equation far exceeds our human's calculation. God's blessings are far greater than the human cost. We may not see it now, but God had prepared a mansion, treasures for us in heaven as we gather treasures in heaven, in Jesus' name. I always wanted to serve, and I committed these things to God and he did open doors, but I have to walk through the door, by his strength.
I know that I am prepared to do much greater things, through Christ who strengthens me. I have no idea where, this is still the honeymoon period.
So it's like this, God asked Dad to give up everything to follow him, and he became a pastor. Much sacrifices were made. And then, who would ever thought that his 3 children got scholarship to study in UK. People would say "well, I got the easy way and my children are in UK too! nothing to boast about" But if we see my dad's life as a single journey without comparing others, we can literally see that God's hand and miracles are working through our family. God is real. All we can do is to praise him, trust him, give everything, commit everything to him, and He will make a way, to let his name be shown to all men.
Weakest area
My weakest area, well I think it's most probably friendships and relationships. since young I don't have a what people called as "close friends " or "best buddy". It'll be a problem when people wants to live up to the convention, in the end ignoring the fact that some people are totally different. I suck at it, I got zero for hospitality, mostly zero for interpersonal skills, but high score in hard skills, skills that doesn't need to involve 2 parties
I was invited for lunch by a church member under the "adopt" student programme. In a sense that I guess their hospitality is a kind of oblige, a politeness required. But yet, I guess that's how things work out. Thank God for it! I have no idea how the future hold, I can only trust in God and do my best. Yes failures and poignant regret will sure knock on the door, it's the matter of how we face it, how we can turn it around by God's strength. It's a sad fact that we can't avoid mistakes in life and the consequences that it'll bring. But we can be assure that God is with us and through trials he wants to mould us to what he wants us to be.
I really have no idea, I am really trying my best not to speculate . My experience told me that usually the reality is totally different form my speculation. It'll be a miracle if I am to be married. I believe that the more you get to know a person, the more hurtful it'll get. I don't want to hurt people, thorough my flaws, by distancing myself, is that a good idea? I am afraid of being in close friendships, as in before we hurt each other a lot due to immaturity. I have no idea how to deal with it. Only God can help me
I was invited for lunch by a church member under the "adopt" student programme. In a sense that I guess their hospitality is a kind of oblige, a politeness required. But yet, I guess that's how things work out. Thank God for it! I have no idea how the future hold, I can only trust in God and do my best. Yes failures and poignant regret will sure knock on the door, it's the matter of how we face it, how we can turn it around by God's strength. It's a sad fact that we can't avoid mistakes in life and the consequences that it'll bring. But we can be assure that God is with us and through trials he wants to mould us to what he wants us to be.
I really have no idea, I am really trying my best not to speculate . My experience told me that usually the reality is totally different form my speculation. It'll be a miracle if I am to be married. I believe that the more you get to know a person, the more hurtful it'll get. I don't want to hurt people, thorough my flaws, by distancing myself, is that a good idea? I am afraid of being in close friendships, as in before we hurt each other a lot due to immaturity. I have no idea how to deal with it. Only God can help me
Tuesday, 28 October 2014
Boring facts about myself
It's 28th Oct 2014, these facts are pretty true up to this date
1. I love emo songs, especially emo chinese songs of Jay Chou. I can relate to Jay Chou's songs, lyrics and MVs most of the time.
2. I have no best friend, or group of really close friends whom I can confide with, since birth. I usually confide with my family members, and it seemed that my sisters can understand me a lot, most probably because we think and act the same way.
3. I love procrastinating. Sometimes, it seemed that working or thinking of a solution in last minute yields the best results.
4. I am shy, very introvert. Yet, sometimes I think I have dual personality. I can suddenly become an outspoken person, and then suddenly become shy and over-thinking again.
5. I love working alone. The idea of having to tolerate lazy or uncooperative person in a group project pretty much make me wanna screw them up. However, I do love to work with people who have more understanding on a subject, where I can learn more things.
6. I really hate prideful people. Sometimes I think I am pretty conceited too. However, I am training myself to tolerate and accept everyone, promoting their good side and accepting their bad side. Nobody is perfect, if not; I have to hate every single person on earth. God teach us to love others, as he had loved us first.
7. I am weak, but God always see me through all obstacles. I got a scholarship because of good results, God blessed me. I can't do it, I suck at studying, but God gave me the determination and wisdom to assail the studies.
8. I love seeking attention. I love to be the center of attention. I will feel sad and despair if people don't praise me or give enough attention to me. I am still struggling to fix this part of me. I need people's agreement, people's praises, people's acknowledgement. I am very sensitive on how people look at me.
9. Every now and then, bad memories in the past, especially memories on how bad, irresponsible, immature of me to hurt others in the past.. these memories will crop up in my mind and pretty much torture me. I'll pray about it and ask God to help me to accept the past, learn from it and move on.
10. I am afraid to get too close to people. My experience taught me that once I became too close to certain people such as a best friend, I tend to hurt them verbally and mentally abuse them. That's one of the reason I am afraid to have best buddy or whatsoever, afraid that my flaws will hurt them.
11. I love drawing, music, and anything else not so sciency, Yet, I'm taking engineering as my academic career path, not sure how this will work haha
12. I do have a pretty negative stereotype on Mainland China people, Africans, fat Americans. But I have to force myself to love everyone as everyone is a masterpiece by God. We all have flaws, and we have to bear each other with love. Experience taught me that stereotyping bring more harm than good.
13. I have a soft spot for girls, the kind of girl who is mature, down to earth, special, ready to make a stand for what she believe in, remain pure although the environment is corrupted, strong in faith in Jesus, diligent, a bit of sarcasm in everything, same type of thinking as me, understanding, kind hearted. I'll not worry about my future spouse if I do have one. I don't mind not having one, it's not a good thing to marry just for the sake of marriage. If it is God's plan for me to be in a marriage, I believe that the marriage is meant to bless more people. Therefore, God will control, God will decide. I'll pray before making any moves, choices,, and let the peace of God to guide me.
1. I love emo songs, especially emo chinese songs of Jay Chou. I can relate to Jay Chou's songs, lyrics and MVs most of the time.
2. I have no best friend, or group of really close friends whom I can confide with, since birth. I usually confide with my family members, and it seemed that my sisters can understand me a lot, most probably because we think and act the same way.
3. I love procrastinating. Sometimes, it seemed that working or thinking of a solution in last minute yields the best results.
4. I am shy, very introvert. Yet, sometimes I think I have dual personality. I can suddenly become an outspoken person, and then suddenly become shy and over-thinking again.
5. I love working alone. The idea of having to tolerate lazy or uncooperative person in a group project pretty much make me wanna screw them up. However, I do love to work with people who have more understanding on a subject, where I can learn more things.
6. I really hate prideful people. Sometimes I think I am pretty conceited too. However, I am training myself to tolerate and accept everyone, promoting their good side and accepting their bad side. Nobody is perfect, if not; I have to hate every single person on earth. God teach us to love others, as he had loved us first.
7. I am weak, but God always see me through all obstacles. I got a scholarship because of good results, God blessed me. I can't do it, I suck at studying, but God gave me the determination and wisdom to assail the studies.
8. I love seeking attention. I love to be the center of attention. I will feel sad and despair if people don't praise me or give enough attention to me. I am still struggling to fix this part of me. I need people's agreement, people's praises, people's acknowledgement. I am very sensitive on how people look at me.
9. Every now and then, bad memories in the past, especially memories on how bad, irresponsible, immature of me to hurt others in the past.. these memories will crop up in my mind and pretty much torture me. I'll pray about it and ask God to help me to accept the past, learn from it and move on.
10. I am afraid to get too close to people. My experience taught me that once I became too close to certain people such as a best friend, I tend to hurt them verbally and mentally abuse them. That's one of the reason I am afraid to have best buddy or whatsoever, afraid that my flaws will hurt them.
11. I love drawing, music, and anything else not so sciency, Yet, I'm taking engineering as my academic career path, not sure how this will work haha
12. I do have a pretty negative stereotype on Mainland China people, Africans, fat Americans. But I have to force myself to love everyone as everyone is a masterpiece by God. We all have flaws, and we have to bear each other with love. Experience taught me that stereotyping bring more harm than good.
13. I have a soft spot for girls, the kind of girl who is mature, down to earth, special, ready to make a stand for what she believe in, remain pure although the environment is corrupted, strong in faith in Jesus, diligent, a bit of sarcasm in everything, same type of thinking as me, understanding, kind hearted. I'll not worry about my future spouse if I do have one. I don't mind not having one, it's not a good thing to marry just for the sake of marriage. If it is God's plan for me to be in a marriage, I believe that the marriage is meant to bless more people. Therefore, God will control, God will decide. I'll pray before making any moves, choices,, and let the peace of God to guide me.
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