Weakest area

My weakest area, well I think it's most probably friendships and relationships. since young I don't have a what people called as "close friends " or "best buddy". It'll be a problem when people wants to live up to the convention, in the end ignoring the fact that some people are totally different. I suck at it, I got zero for hospitality, mostly zero for interpersonal skills, but high score in hard skills, skills that doesn't need to involve 2 parties

I was invited for lunch by a church member under the "adopt" student programme. In a sense that I guess their hospitality is a kind of oblige, a politeness required. But yet, I guess that's how things work out. Thank God for it! I have no idea how the future hold, I can only trust in God and do my best. Yes failures and poignant regret will sure knock on the door, it's the matter of how we face it, how we can turn it around by God's strength. It's a sad fact that we can't avoid mistakes in life and the consequences that it'll bring. But we can be assure that God is with us and through trials he wants to mould us to what he wants us to be.

I really have no idea, I am really trying my best not to speculate . My experience told me that usually the reality is totally different form my speculation. It'll be a miracle if I am to be married. I believe that the more you get to know a person, the more hurtful it'll get. I don't want to hurt people, thorough my flaws, by distancing myself, is that a good idea? I am afraid of being in close friendships, as in before we hurt each other a lot due to immaturity. I have no idea how to deal with it. Only God can help me