I just received another call from an employer for bar and staff and hospitality. I mean, If I want to get a summer job, is this the best method? Honestly I was so afraid of the phone call. They asked me to have the national insurance number, reference and something else that I can not produce and bring it to them in 3 days, Such a short notice,, am I really ready for it? Commercials sucks, they portray benefits, and it;s really up to us to think about the cost and the responsibilities. Besides, the location is too far away, am I really that desperate?
I am not sure is this is God's plan for me. Call me superstitious I dont mind haha. But I really want to do things that honour God, things that God want me to do, things that God allowed me to do to grow mentally and spiritually. I didn't really think about the cost when applying for a summer job. I guess I'm not brave enough, no experience. I'm confused. If it's not meant for me, I'll probably just give up. This is the same experience when I alone too Geography in SPM. Is this what God wants me to do? Am I doing the right thing? A lot of people with seniority told me not to do it but somehow there's a "stupid" idea to take the subject. God took my misery into his testimony. In the end, I understood. 2 years of suffering is a chance to glorify God with my results. I knew if I didn't took the subject and obeyed what other people told me, I wouldn't be the top student of my state and get a scholarship to UK. See, God's plan is super good, God open the door, but we have to walk to the door. God's directions for you doesn't mean that there will be no opposition. In fact, more opposition. But God will guide you thru, his grace is enough. Sometimes I wondered why I suffer, but then I realised the vindication and the reward in the end (by God's grace) far exceeded the cost.
Now back to the job application. huh really? I am not brave, no experience in bar staff. I don't know if this is God's will for me to work in a bar. My experience is that, God's plans for me are usually unexpected, miraculous and usually come as "stupid ideas". And then by prayer and petition, and thanksgiving, the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guide me in Christ Jesus. I really wanted to do what God wanted me to do. The problem is, I don't really know. I just know that there's a stupid idea to get a summer job in UK. How? What job? I dont know.
I don't know where to go what to do. I can't get national insurance number in 3 days. Its too short notice, and I can't arrange place to stay.
I can't decide for myself whether these things are the best for me. I never thought about it. It come to the point where I hate choices involving large stakes. I want people to tell me what to do: The choice of universities, whether to apply for student exchange, whether to go UK, whether to take Geography, whether this or that. I didn't think too much when I applied, which is probably the best thing. Now suddenly I have to think for myself haiz,,,, For big thins in life, I need encouragement, families' blessings, I need prayers, I need God's approval.
Everything is possible. I know if I fail to plan, I plan to fail.
It's totally a miracle that I'm here in the UK, studying. I know God is good and his mercy endureth forever. God's will? My UK application is unexpected and miracle. I know, if I compare with others, their process is way more smooth. But is it my mistake? Is it my way of looking at things? Is it about my maturity is handling stuff. The only good thing that comes out of comparing with others is to improve myself without self-condemning or conceited with pride.
Praise God for everything! Is it too late if I don;t apply summer jobs now? But the jobs that I apply now will lead me to part time job while studying, which is not good.
I don't mind going back to Malaysia in summer, which might be the best thing. But I'm sure God has plans for me, something ultimately good, even if it might seem bad in human's sight
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