Yes I'm proud
I don't listen to what others have to say
I don't like being told what to do
But, that doesn't hide or condemn the fact that I'm actually annoyed by people telling me what to do, as if their life is better, as if I should be more like them, as I should think like them because as according to them my thinking sucks
As if I haven't try improving myself
As if I haven't make efforts to change myself
As if it's very easy
What really pisses me off is that they claim I'm not kind enough and therefore I'm a Christian and not a hypocrite. Apparently my pessimistic attitude is not Christ-like.
I don't mind if you say I'm proud. But from your perspective, you only start going to church for the past 1 month, and now you act like you're a teacher, a mentor for a person who went to church his whole life and is involved with a number of ministry. I won't say my spiritual maturity is good but it's at least better than yours. You're still feeding on milk. That's the burden. I need act mature even if the inner me wanted to explode and curse the shit out of you.
I think:"Ey Hello, different people have different personality ok?? Nobody is 100% correct, and nobody is 100% wrong. Just because I'm pessimistic doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Just because you're optimistic doesn't mean its a good thing. It's all about personality ok? If you say you want me to change my personality because you 'cared' for me, then I'll say I rather you be just a listening ear to understand where I'm coming from rather than judging and accusing me straight away, in the name of concern. To be honest, being a listening ear is more helpful than giving unsolicited advice. I don't have to prove myself to you to show that I've changed. No, I'm not perfect. But I'm not making any efforts to improve my weakness. I just learn to be aware of it and minimize the effect of it on other people. Obviously I don't say I'm changing to everyone because that will just give me unnecessary pressure "
Ok, so you're starting everything a fresh anew, that's great for you. So now you're making great initiatives to be out of your comfort zone, that's great! good for you. But what bothers me is that now you're telling me I'm not doing ok because I'm stuck at my comfort zone and I should get out more, just like you. Eh! Hello! Do you think I haven't try it ah?
You're just trying to justify your actions and your thinking, and now you're trying to impose your thinking on me, condemning my act of being comfortable. So all people who stayed in their comfort zone are shitty lah? So all people who make efforts to be out of their comfort zone are saints lah?
In my own perspective, you're just trying to redeem yourself because for the past few years you're one of the most introverted and detached people I've seen. To hide your true motivation and make it less obvious regarding your initiatives, you try to make everyone else thinks the same way as you do. It's perfectly fine that you're getting out of your comfort zone, in fact I'm happy for you. But now you're telling me that I'm a bad and crooked person because I'm staying in mine - that really bothers me. Who are you to tell me how to think? It's really none of your business if I go all out socializing or just stay in my room being an introvert. The way you judge me saying what should be right and what should be wrong regarding how I live my life really bothers me. I can't really stand you to be honest.
I don't mind if you tell the whole world that I'm prideful and I don't listen to advice. But, be sure to ask yourself, my life isn't your business. Whether I change or not or whether I'm happy or not is really none of your business. I can stay the way I am or gradually change in God's guidance. That's really up to Him.
Please, reserve your 'concern' for yourself. It's not working at all. If you're really concerned about me, you won't be judging. Instead, you'll be a listening ear and try to understand where I'm coming from. I usually help people that way by listening to them and not giving them judgmental advices. However, since you're just you, I don't expect much for you to do that.
Haih, the more I think about it, the more I'm pissed off. Just mind your own business lah.
Think about it, there will be more people like him in my life in the future. I just need to listen and take what's worth from their "concern". If deep down I know I really need to change I will, if not, then no action plan. I don't mind if they say I'm not a good Christian or whatsoever.
I shouldn't be bothered by you actually.
Regards
A prideful guy
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