I am scared of what people think

I am working now, at least what I thougt. I am working as a team member in one of the japanese takeaway.

At first, I was so depressed. Looking at the uniform, I'm thinking like : wow, I'm a just nobody working in a hopeless restaurant.

It's not easy. I'm scolded for being too slow. Then, for the things i didn't do, i get scolded as well. Haha that's the life of a trainee. I made a lot of mistakes, nobody teach me, and I get told off a lot of times. Their English is not that good, so sometimes I get misunderstood. But I really thank God that they are still patient with me.

Now i am worry (or concerned) about my volunteering at the hospice. I would really love to volunteer. However, if i work on Saturdays, I will not be able to.
They might just kick me off. Sad, I need the volunteering thing.

Another matter that bug me is that, most of the people I know are working during the summer. All of them (or most of them) are back to their own country.
I choose to stay back (it's a gamble). Thank God for the job (if i'm still not being fired)
My Malaysian friends are back with summer job, most of which are very professional internships. While I'm here as a waiter haha. So unprofessional. haha
What will they think about me?

Im gonna break down. I think too much. I scared to grow up. I still wanna sulk in my own comfort zone. Playing drums? Pride? Maturity? Composure?
I'm gonna freak out sooner or later.

To be honest, I can't face them. I can;t tell everyone that I worked for a restaurant. I'm ashamed. But I know I shouldn't be. I should be proud of it.

Yes I sucked, they are so great. They worked in good companies, good jobs, I worked like shit haha.
Yup, I have to accept the fact that I'm a loser
cry cry, nobody needs me huh huh.

Then I will have to up my confidence and look for a placement this coming september. I'm crushed, like a grinder. Ouch

What am I afraid of?
I am afraid of people saying that I'm useless. I still can't accept the fact that I'm working in a restaurant. I'm afraid of being told off by senior members of the staff in front of the people I know. That really sucks. I dunno what I am getting myself into.

But I know what i need to do, acceptance. Accepting to be ok even if church members or anyone else that I know popping up at the takeaway. Accepting that I'm working in a so called "low class" job as reckoned by the ang moh (haha).

But I am happy with the job. I personally enjoyed it. Just afraid of what people might say. My family supports me, so it's fine.

Thank You God. God help me to be humble. Amen.