What I wanted to post in Facebook, but I didn't. Better record these down as a history of my life.
3 more weeks and I'm facing exam. Honestly I know i can only do it with God's help. But if I don't study, I sure gonna fail. But how much is "Trying my best"? Am I trying my best enough? I've been procrastinating. I don't have the mood, the motivation to study. It feels so boring. But if I spend my whole day not studying, I'll feel guilty. Then, if I study too hard, I scare I become crazy. I plan to study for 12 hours a day for the next 30 days. I think I'll prioritize effectiveness and objectiveness rather than amount of time spent in one module. Spending more time studying doesn't means you gonna get good grades. Getting good grades doesn't actually mean you spent too much on it. I just don't have the mood to do it. I am thinking: Do I need to cram in my room for 1 whole month? Lacking of social contact or interactions can be catastrophic.
I know God is in control. It's not about getting through the storm, it's about looking to Jesus, trusting in him that everything is gonna be fine as he is in control. Because he is in control, we shall not worry, but to put everything under his care by prayer and thanksgiving with joy, peace. Yes, Jesus is the prince of peace. He will give us peace that transcends all understanding.
I am honestly worried about my UK application. But God stated in the bible that worrying is a sin.
So, I shall not worry, but trust that God will give me wisdom to know what and how to apply when the time comes. Gone through ATAS, now is Exam time. After exam: Transcript, CAS, VISA, Financial affidavit, health check, interview,....etc arrrgh
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