Sunday 31 July 2016

Loneliness

A month into the job now. I felt so lonely. I don't have friends a all. Partly due to my very shy and introvert nature. I went to church, standing there alone awkwardly after service. I don't like having small talks, and I don't bother to waste my energy to talk to other people.

I really hated small talks in a large social setting.
But what to do, it's part of courtesy in the culture of Britain. "How are u?" is just a courtesy, nobody really want to know how are u. Slowly but sure, I begin to say "how are u" without meaning it. I felt so superficial and fake, but I guess when I'm in UK, do like the British.

I just don't know la, alone. I don't mind being alone. What I mind is people staring at me as if they never seen people alone before. It's like a huge taboo if someone is standing there alone with nobody to talk to. Personally I think it's fine. But I guess the social pressure in the UK is different.

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