move on

It's time to move on. I miss America, I miss my host family. I miss American friends. I don't know it I'm using my exchange program to USA as a show off to my home country friends... but yeah,, my experience as an exchange student is over. I'm no longer an exchange student. Now I'm settled down as a local university student.

It's almost a month since I left USA. Who will not miss that beautiful country? Yet I think the most important aspect of the exchange program is to learn and experience as much as I can. When i come back, deep down I know I've changed for better or worse. I think now it's how I move on with life that's matter. What's the point of being nostalgic? Yet I can't help but feeling nostalgic all the time. I am kinda depressed now.

The K-L YES program to USA for 2014 batch is out. One of my school mate's (junior) name is on the list. Honestly, I felt replaced. I know it sounded kinda ridiculous. I've been gaining lots of attention due to my experience in USA. Now that I'm back, nobody gives a shit about it. And then came this new guy who will embark on his journey to USA next year. I'm so selfish, I wanted all the praises for myself. But yet, this is life.. I wish the best for him! My secondary school rocks! Now I know how my senior felt when he saw my USA pictures on social media. But it's time to move on.

Suddenly i felt that keeping contact with host family and friends in USA is sooooo important1 I'm so immature! But my logic is that, the more I worry about it and give a whole lotta attention about it, the more it will go down and fail, probably due to my high expectation. So I had to force myself not to put too much attention in it. It's not easy. I don't if I'm keeping USA contact as show off or what.. but life is like that. Everything is transient. I had to force myself to be ready to accept the fact that they don't need me anymore. I have to force myself to be ready if we really did lost contact and never meet each other again. But it's a nice memory,, it will be nice if I can see them again. But it's ok if nothing happens. I need strength for constant self denial. I need God's help actually. No, I desperately hunger for God's presence.

May God's love be shown and demonstrated to all believer becoz God is good.