Why you should go for a year-long industrial placement

I imagined myself as an extroverted, narcissistic, typical 20-year old (ish) lady; trying my best to make other people jealous of me. (LOL)

1. You'll get to travel
1. 
2. "This heart of mine was made to travel this world"
3. 
2. You'll make new friends
1. And if you're lucky you may find the ONE
2. 
3. Meet new people, see the world!
4. 
3. You are earning money
1. 
1. To spend it on all the things you ever wanted, it's shop till you drop!
2. 
4. You get real work
1. 
1. It's better than any fast food chain isn't it?
2. 
3. That's what life is all about
5. To love Uni is to leave Uni, for a while
1. In Uni party hard but you're poor
2. 
3. In working life, you can work hard and play hard
4. 
6. Weekend Parties
1. Meet the guys! They're financially stable, smart. and have graduated
2. 
3. 
7. You can do whatever you want in your free time
1. No coursework zone!
2. 
3. 
8. You are more mature
1. 
2. 
9. You have an advantage over grads without proper working experience
1. Which you can proudly brag about
2. 
10. You will enjoy the work experience
1. 
2. 

Things lonely people do

I am alone. I'll be lying if I said I don't feel lonely. Here are some things that I've done, epitome of ultimate loneliness

1. eating alone
2. going to the beach alone
3. watching movies in cinema, alone
4. going to the zoo, alone
5. going to church, alone
6. shopping, alone
7. travelling, alone

damn sad weh

Why did I like her?

Why did I had a huge crush on her?

1. She is cute and lovely
2. She is sarcastic
3. She is straight forward
4. She is very smart
5. She is very hard working
6. She is kind
7. She is organized (I think)
8. She is very down to earth
9. She goes out of her comfort zone
10. She is not narcissistic

Depressed

I am very depressed. Not sure if this is clinical depression or not. Yet, I am feeling down, all the time.
My Job is not really going as well as I thought, or I hope to be, or I pretend to be for the sake of my parents comfort of heart.
I feel very useless at job. For example, something that I felt can be done in 15 min took me like 6 hours. You know how hopeless and disappointing that sounds? I disappointed everyone, especially myself.
I know God is still in control. In Church, I felt that I kena pushed in a sense that when I asked for something, they tai chi here and there, pushing the job of acquainting me with relevant groups to one and another. You might argue that I am too sensitive. yes I am too sensitive, but that doesn't take away my right in speaking up how I felt.

To make things kinda worse, I have no friends to relate to anything. I feel the emptiness with watching anime or drawing.

I know I had to be thankful for the placement. I hoped for this placement above anything else from the start of 2015. I thank God for giving me this placement, and all glory to Him. Yet I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm counting down for the days that this placement will end. Is the prize worth the price?

I feel tired, exhausted mentally. The only friend I have is my laptop. To matters even lower, I hate small talking or talking to anyone in general. Sometimes I just want to fall flat to my bed and forget about the world for a while.

I felt very very bad all the time. Social media make it seems like the world is so perfect and everyone should be happy all the time. But the truth is that sometimes it's ok to be sad or feel lonely. Everybody felt that, just not everyone will admit it openly or make no attempts to cover it.

Loneliness

A month into the job now. I felt so lonely. I don't have friends a all. Partly due to my very shy and introvert nature. I went to church, standing there alone awkwardly after service. I don't like having small talks, and I don't bother to waste my energy to talk to other people.

I really hated small talks in a large social setting.
But what to do, it's part of courtesy in the culture of Britain. "How are u?" is just a courtesy, nobody really want to know how are u. Slowly but sure, I begin to say "how are u" without meaning it. I felt so superficial and fake, but I guess when I'm in UK, do like the British.

I just don't know la, alone. I don't mind being alone. What I mind is people staring at me as if they never seen people alone before. It's like a huge taboo if someone is standing there alone with nobody to talk to. Personally I think it's fine. But I guess the social pressure in the UK is different.

Got a job

So,, I have a job as an industrial placement student in an engineering consultancy company.
I have a 9-5 job, staring at computer screen the whole time trying to figure out what's going on in codings and science.

Come to think about it, I really thank God for providing everything. Everything that I have now, the position that I'm in now, its from God and I want to give him all glory and praise, for without him none of this would happen. Many will do it without difficulty but I faced a lot of challenges and I wanna give God the highest glory.

Things I worry about or thinking it'll be very hard had come out fine.

In Jan 2016, I'm still worry if I can get a placement; now I'm officially in the company already.
In April 2016, I'm worry if I can get a good house with good price and location; now I'm comfortably settled into the new house.
All these are miracles to me, it may seem very normal or petty but it's a great deal to me

So I just wanna praise God and I know that God placed me in this position for a reason, to glorify him as well as blessing others

envious

I am easily envious
Every time I see their vacation pictures, couple pictures, or their migration stories out of Malaysia, I immediately get jealous.

Being envious bcoz I want what they have.
However, I found that it is impossible to fulfill the need of getting what others have. Others may be envious of what I have which they don't.

Father God, thanks for providing everything I need and help me not be envious of others but be content of what I have. Amen